1. Take a self portrait of yourself doing your best secret agent impression.

What evil lurks in the hearts of men?  Only the Shadow knows…or the shadowy, partially obscured figure dressed like a sekrit agent from an old 50's B movie…I'm passing the uber-secret crossword puzzle to my invisible government contact in this photo.  Please note I had already completed photo scavenger hunt topic #2 at the time of this photo.

2. Show us the most delicious thing that you can prepare in your kitchen in under 90 seconds.

Ross' Extra-Delicious Manhattan Recipe

1 part whiskey (Black Label optional, but highly recommended)
1/2 part sweet vermouth
2 maraschino cherries
Ice to suit
Stir and sip, repeat when you hit bottom

I swear I wasn't copying crankypants on this one!  I made and drank this one long before I saw her post!

3. Take a picture of a tattoo or piercing on your body. If you don't have either, show us where you want one and tell us what you plan to get. If you're against body modification or are just not interested, take a picture of your thumb.

This is a slightly-weird angle of my one and only tattoo.  I got it after I had graduated college and joined the working world, and was completely sober at the time.  I had started off with an idea of what I wanted, combined it with some flash I saw at the tattoo parlor, helped the artist fine-tune it to my liking, and just went for it.  I highly recommend Skin Funk Tattoo in New York, if you're ever up that way and looking for some new ink.

4. Show us something that could only exist in [where you live].

Only in North Carolina can you find Big Tobacco manufacturing facilities hand-in-hand with acres and acres of cow-pastures.  These fields are all owned by Philip Morris, who has a facility somewhere back there on-site.

Note: North Carolina's unofficial state motto is: Remember, Tobacco is a Vegetable!

5. Create a sculpture of a pig out of unconventional materials (don't use clay or play doh, etc.) and show it to us.

Meet Gerald the soda-pig (not to be confused with Spider-Pig).  Born 11:22 AM, August 18th, 2007, Gerald consists of:

1 caffeine-free diet pepsi can
4 sheet-metal screws
1/2 sheet of pink paper
2 pieces of scotch tape
1 pink-vinyl coated paper-clip
Ink from a Sharpie
A whole lot of TLC

Unfortunately, Gerald suffered a bad accident involving a recycling bin, and is no longer with us.  He is survived by his littermates Geraldine and Harold, both of whom declined to be pictured here.

Gerald, the Soda-PigGerald's Profile ShotGerald's Derriere

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  1. [atropos] says:

    These are AWESOME! Love the little piggy. 🙂


  2. crankypants says:

    heeee! these are great! love the secret agent man one, I wonder if anyone will be the smoking man from the x-files?
    #4–mmmm, Tomacco!
    my mom drinks manhattans!


  3. Ross says:

    Ha, I loved that Tomacco episode! I wouldn't be surprised if they were back there figuring out how to grow one of those right now….


  4. Steve Betz says:

    Awesome — and Gerald is fantastic — I can't believe I haven't seen that on some DIY show on cable. You should have your own show.
    Oh — and we tend to the 1/2 sweet & 1/2 dry vermouth in a manhattan — maybe its an east-coast/west-coast thing.


  5. Ross says:

    I actually did do some pretty elaborate things with soda-cans as a kid. My favorite though, was using the little tab that you open in the can to cut the can in half and then shove the top half on the bottom half. If done correctly with a coke can, it appears you have a pint-sized can that just says "Coca" on it.This can be done while you're out and about, and people then do a double-take and ask you where you got the pint-sized can from.I haven't heard of the sweet/dry mixture before, but I've only been an east-coaster since I have been of drinking age. I've got the ingredients in-house, I might give it a shot tonight…but you'll forgive me if I use some Jack Daniels over the precious Black Label while I commit sacrilege to my precious recipe, won't you?


  6. Yod says:

    Tobacco fields… fun memories of the Carolinas… hehe. Great picture. Is there a house down the street from that field with a huge propane tank next to it? heheOne of my frat brothers in college picked tobacco as a teenager. He said he started smoking at 13, otherwise the nicotine from handling those leaves just zonks you out. Speaking of college, I had a very snooty friend that insisted on using Blue Label for everything. Do you know what a whiskey sour tastes like when you use Blue Label and the cheapest powdered mix you could find at Kroger? That's right: Crap! ahhahahah


  7. W. B. Mook says:

    So. Awesome. Sign me up!Okay, I signed myself up, but you get the idea.


  8. Ross says:

    You still have until sometime tomorrow if you want to participate in this week's contest! The more the merrier…


  9. grrrace says:

    love all of your answers! 😀


  10. joey says:

    Sweet … these are all perfect man. You've got my vote.


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