Posts Tagged ‘coworker’

There's someone here in the office who now has 6 apples on his desk.  Each day I walk by his desk, and I notice that one more has appeared.  There's only two logical explanations for this:

1) He doesn't like apples and someone (possibly his second mental persona) is packing them in his lunch each day.  He doesn't have the heart to throw them away or give them away though, and so keeps them on his desk along with those Christmas cards from 6 years ago and that one little stuffed animal he won at the carnival when he was a teenager.

2) He is an evil genius and is developing a diabolical plan to breed mutant, sentient apple-pudding-cups as soon as he reaches a critical mass of apples and pudding cups (so far the pudding cup count remains constant at two).  He is hampered in his grandiose schemes by a federal regulation prohibiting him or anyone he knows from buying apples or pudding cups for him.  He has arranged a deal with the Redneck Mafia in which they toss an apple through his open car window on the way to work every day; they are still trying to work out how to throw the pudding cups to him without them bursting.

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Murphy's Third Law:

It is only when you are in the greatest rush to get inside the work bathroom that you throw your weight upon the solid, opaque wooden door, only to find that you just slammed it into the face of some unsuspecting individual six inches inside the door who is reaching for the door handle.

The converse also holds true – I have been said unsuspecting individual who needs to jump back to avoid a broken nose.  I'm quick on my feet, so I haven't been hit yet, but I'm sure that day will come….

P.S. I'm super-slammed at work and am probably going to have to bow out of posts for a little bit.  I may still throw something up here or there but for the sake of my sanity at the office, I must get some of this work done…

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(Discussion with a coworker yesterday)

ME: So did you ever finish off identifying what items were missing from those drawings?  I seem to recall you did the analog drawings but we hadn't done the digital ones yet.

COWORKER: Yep, they're all done.  I've gone through them all and we've reviewed those drawings.

ME: Are you sure?  I don't recall reviewing the full resulting list with you.

COWORKER: Yes, remember, we went through the items I had in my notes drawing by drawing last week.

ME: Yes, I remember that.  So that's given you the full list of things that are missing?




ME (in email): Please send me that list of everything that is missing from the drawings so I can make sure to mark them up for the drafters to add back on.

COWORKER (on phone): I'm not sure what list you're talking about – we had the notes from the drawings I went through with you, and that's it.

ME: So you don't have the full list of items that are missing?  Remember last week when we had you making an excel spreadsheet listing all the items that had a blank where the drawing location was to be?  You told me yesterday you had the full list done.

COWORKER: Oh.  Yeah, I got tasked to do some other stuff, so I don't know where that's at.  I think we got the analog drawings done but not the digitals.  Let me check.


Good thing I'm taking off tomorrow and going away for the weekend with my wife.  And my mother-in-law is watching Violet, so it's a kid-free weekend.  Yay!

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5ives for Friday

Posted: 2007-04-13 in General
Tags: , , , ,

5 Things You Never Want To Hear From The Coworker Sitting Next To You

1. Yum, sardines and chili for lunch again!
2. Yes Mother, I know you wanted that massage, but I'm working late again tonight so it'll have to wait until tomorrow.
3. Well, he said I'm still infectious…but you know doctors – they're always trying to scare you with their medical mumbo-jumbo.
4. I wonder how long it would take the police to respond if I just starting shooting people?
5. Hey, I think one of my toenail clippings flew over the cube wall…could you throw that away for me please?

5 Sports/Games That Will Probably Never Make It To The Olympics…But Might Be Fun to Watch If They Did

1. Bumper Pool
2. Red Rover
3. Marco Polo
4. Simon Says ("Simon" gets to use his/her native language)
5. Russian Roulette

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