Posts Tagged ‘jokes’

Since I’ve been doing a fair amount of debugging in the last couple of weeks for “quick let’s get this programmed and running today” code, this struck me as extra-funny:

A software tester walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders five trillion beers. Orders zero beers. Orders a lizard. Orders a glass of water. Orders negative fifteen beers. Orders a fasdfhasdfjaksdfasdf. Leaves, satisfied.

A user walks into a bar. Orders a Milwaukee’s. Bar immediately catches on fire.

Not only are the spammers coming after you in blog comments as well as through your email, but now they're telling jokes!

I was cleaning out the spam comments on my blog when I came across one that I actually enjoyed – unlike the linkfarm/gobbledygook/viagra ads of most blog comment spam, this one contained a joke that was not half bad:

Moishe had been single for a long time. One day, he excitedly tells his mother that he’s fallen in love at last and he is going to get married. She is obviously overjoyed.

Moishe then tells his mother, “Just for fun, Mum, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”

His mother agrees.

The next day, Moishe brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they all chat for a while. Then Moishe turns to his mother and says, “Okay, Mum. Guess which one I’m going to marry?”

She immediately replies, “The redhead in the middle.”

“That’s amazing, Mum. You’re right. How did you know?”

“I don’t like her.”

Obviously these kind of comments still aren't going to make it onto my blog, but if the spammers can keep me laughing while I delete their comments, so much the better!

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Show us a great April Fools' Day joke.

I'm not a big one for practical jokes.  In Robert Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, humor is codified, for the sake of an intelligent computer's understanding, as "Funny Once", "Funny Always", and "Funny Never". Some things are funny only the first time, some are always funny no matter what, and some things just aren't funny at all.  For me, practical jokes usually fall in the "Funny Once" category, although if they're mean-spirited or cause stress for the person being pranked, they immediately go in the "Funny Never" bucket.

 

WARNING: The rest of this post is sort of geeky.  If you don't consider yourself kind of geeky, you may find it funny.

That being said, I do appreciate when an April Fool's joke doesn't harm anyone AND manages to be "Funny Always".  One example that I recall is when a former boss of mine sent me some cut-sheets for some new electrical components he was thinking of buying, and asked me to review and provide my input.

Write Only Memory (1/2)Write Only Memory (2/2)

Yes, these are cut-sheets for "Write Only Memory".  Just as you'd infer, where "Read Only Memory" devices have data on it that can only be read (and not written to), "Write Only Memory" devices can only be written to (and not read from).  Some of the uses suggested on the cut sheet for Write Only Memory:

  • Don't Care Buffer Stores
  • Least Significant Control Memories
  • First-In, Never-Out (FINO) Asynchronous Buffers
  • Post-Mortem Memories (Weapons Systems)

 

It took me a little while to figure out what the hell the stuff was supposed to be, but I chuckled quite a bit as I started reading the descriptions and looking at all the hard work that was put into these cut sheets.

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