Posts Tagged ‘monkey’

BBC Sport Monkey

Posted: 2008-08-08 in General
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For all the monkey lovers out there –

Monkey, Pigsy and Sandy head on a "Journey to the East" for BBC Sport this summer.

This animated sequence, based on the classical Chinese novel, "Journey to the West", has been produced by Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett, the men behind virtual band Gorillaz.

It will feature on TV, radio, web and mobile, introducing coverage of the Games on BBC Sport – the Olympic broadcaster in the UK.

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This week's Yod Hunt is a mystery…even to me.  I discovered these photos on my camera but have no recollection of taking them.  Spooky!  But they fit the categories, so at least I get a Yod Hunt entry out of it!

1. Take a picture of something that would be easy to identify otherwise, except for the distance and angle of your picture.

Can you guess what this is?  Click through to the bigger picture for a link to the answer, found in the description.

2. Show us something nobody (and I mean NOBODY) knows that you own.

But wait, if I show it to you, then SOMEONE will know I own it, so it won't qualify anymore, will it?  Ahh, screw it.  I'll show you my secret:

Yes, that's right, I own a slingshot with two kinds of ammo.  Not even my wife knows (I think).  I bought it back in college on a whim and practiced out in a field until I got decent with the aim.  With the ball bearings, I can pretty much shoot clear through a box of Triscuits.  Now I keep it around in case of the zombie attack.  When all those others run out of ammo, I'll just casually reach down and pick up another handful of rocks and keep right on taking out those brain-eatin' fools.

3. Show us your theory as to where Emily's monkey went (it still has NOT showed up, thanks post office!).

I heard that the Department of Homeland Security picked him up and put him in a line-up where an old lady identified him as the terrorist she had overheard talking about "Setting us up the bomb".  I was able to contact a couple of the other monkeys, and they consented to a re-creation of the line-up to better illustrate what happened:

4. Show us one place you would definitely NOT let your kids trick or treat.

I have it on good authority that the folks that live in this house eat children that come trick-or-treating at their house.  Plus, they probably won't be home again this Halloween to hand out candy.  If I were you, I definitely would not let my kids trick-or-treat there.

5. Take a picture somewhere you're not supposed to.

I was going to take a picture while waiting in the Airport Security line tomorrow, but after the crack above about the DHS, I'm pretty sure I'd end up in a windowless room somewhere, getting grilled by a stern-but-frustrated officer about my relationship with Emily's monkey.

Then I thought back to my driver's education classes in high school.  I'm pretty sure that "behind the wheel" is somewhere you're not supposed to be taking pictures.

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Ian: Matt.
Matt: Yes?
Ian: Get the monkey gun.
Matt: Is that a gun for shooting monkeys, or a gun that shoots monkeys out of it?
Ian: Uh…
Matt: Because we don't have either.

Mac Hall webcomic, February 19, 2004

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The tension was a physical thing.  I pushed the pedal down a little further, but my car was maxed out at 100 miles per hour.  I could feel the frame shimmy under the speed as I coaxed out every ounce of its driving potential.  I was coming home, Yod Hunt prize, as fast as I could….

Okay, so that's not really how it happened, but I was excited to see my prize box sitting on my front porch when I showed up this evening!  I could barely wait to get inside before opening it up.  Only a small, rational whisper in the back of my head kept me from ripping open the box before I snapped a shot of it and the monkey on the address label.

I carefully unpacked the contents of the shipping box.  I figured my "I can't believe some dood on the internet sent me this" prize had to be a bag of dollar-store-brand Funyuns, and I didn't want to crush up those delectable ring-shaped, onion-flavored snacks.

(Don't ask me where the Funyun assumption came from – I have no idea and anyway, it wasn't correct and my prize turned out to be much better than that).

As you can see here, Yod and the monkeys were kind enough to document my shared win of contest #3 with a commemorative certificate.  Unfortunately, the glass in the frame had cracked and needed to be carefully extracted by me prior to the photo op, so as not to end up on the floor near my daughter and her matchbox cars.

As for my prizes – they numbered two in quantity, and rated excellent in quality.  I received a cool battery-powered, music-playing "swing top" with packaging that has to be at least as entertaining as the toy itself, and a McDonald's Happy Meal toy monkey pencil topper, complete with short green pencil.

I haven't yet opened the top's box to check it out, but will be doing that later this week.  However, I know now that I'll be able to operate it correctly, since I have the detailed instructions printed on the box:

When assembling my monkey toy, I realized that Yod really made an effort for my prize.  After all, between the top and the Vietnam stamp on the pencil, it seems my prizes must have been gathered at great expense from all around the world!

It turns out the monkey pencil topper also possesses the magical quality of bringing out a smile in whoever holds the little guy and swings him around.  At least it worked for my wife, my daughter, and myself.  More tests are pending.

Monkey on a StickThe Monkey in Action

Thanks again, Yod!  Great prizes for a great contest…looking forward to participating in many more to come!

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QotD: Total Trust

Posted: 2007-09-11 in General
Tags: , , ,

    Who would you trust with your life?

Let's look at this a different way.  Who have I trusted with my life?

  • Airline pilots, too many times to count
  • Crazy Indian cab drivers
  • The Meineke mechanics who rotated my tires during an oil change and then forgot to tighten the lugnuts (yeah, when I started to drive out of the parking lot and the rear left wheel almost fell off, I decided not to trust them ever again)
  • The EMT crew and ER doctors and staff who helped after I collapsed at the end of a road race
  • My investment services company (oh wait, that's my life savings, not my life…doesn't count)
  • My parents
  • Myself, every time I get behind the wheel (surprisingly, so far I have warranted this trust)

EDIT:  I forgot to answer the other half of the implied question – Who have I not trusted with my life?

  • That drunken knife-thrower who wanted to use me in his act

  • Anyone who thinks they can drive while inebriated
  • Anyone who would pack a parachute for me
  • Any medical professional who hasn't seemed competent and willing to keep me in the loop on the status of my own health and any related issues
  • Mojo the helper monkey

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